Article
10 Things I Wish Women Understood about Men.
Men:
Here are the 10 Things you wish women understood about you and your
needs:
1.
To
be lifted up – respect and admiration go a long way.
2.
A
different style of communication – men and women are different in this area
and the better we understand that, the more we’ll understand each other.
3.
Some
space – time alone or with other men.
4.
A
Teammate – woman who is loyal to the marriage team provides her man with the
confidence that she’s got his back no matter what.
5.
A
structure of gender roles – fuzzy definitions of roles cause confusion.
6.
Sex
– you need it, you like it, you wish we would initiate it and show some
interest once in a while.
7.
To
be free of stereotypes – Give you, our Christian brothers, more credit than
Homer Simpson.
8.
Unspoken
truths – some messages need to be understood without words.
9.
Freedom
from criticism – it does not inspire you to greater love.
10.
Men
have a deep desire to follow Christ – your intentions are pure.
So men, that’s what you had to
tell us. Now for those of you who
are curious about the specific quotes from the forum, read on. (You’re safe with us, we won’t tell anyone that you opted to read the
ladies version.)
Ladies:
We’ve got a lot of good stuff to chew on here. The following are the men’s responses, and I think we can all learn
from what they’ve said. By the way, I’ll call you later so we can talk about
it a little more…
1. To be lifted up
"We need to feel like a man, a
protectorate."
"Your man needs you to lift him up
at all times, (not just to be told continually how he is falling short of your
expectations for him and your relationship)."
"The number one thing I wish my
wife would understand about me is how important it is that she build me up in my
leadership role as husband and a father."
"Men just wish for respect, to
know that their wives are proud of who they are and will proudly say, or at
least think, "That's MY man."
"Your man needs you to believe in
him, (especially if he's struggling with believing in himself)."
"Woman should do what they can to
BUILD UP their husbands by letting men know that they are good breadwinners,
fathers, husbands, and friends.
"Men need reassurance that they
are loved."
2. A different style of communication
"Men like to hear not how special
they are, but what they mean to you."
"Men
expect a direct answer to their questions.
My girlfriend has this problem with not giving me answers right then and
she makes me go around the long way to get an answer. That just steams me."
"Men can not read minds."
"Men inherently do not like
talking as much as women."
"Men sometimes are more direct and
blunt when they communicate. It
doesn't mean disrespect or dislike or a lack of love."
"Short responses to your long
inquiries does not mean we "didn't hear you."
"Men do not like to analyze
everything to death then just to resurrect it and start over.
"When I get upset or concerned and
open up to my wife, I'm doing this because I'm truly at a loss for
solutions, or I am extremely unsure of what I should do about something. When I bring this to my wife, I don't want to
hear that 'everything's gonna be okay,' I want her advice, I want
answers. That's what makes me
feel better."
"No we can't read your mind,
PERIOD."
3. Some space (by
the way ladies, given the number of women posting messages in this Forum, we may
need to heed this one in particular…)
"Men like to have space, to do the
things that make them feel good, fishing, hunting. Hobbies just like women
do."
"Men
often don't mind being totally silent for a while, and just thinking. Not talking doesn't necessarily mean that the man is angry or trying to
give her the 'silent treatment.'"
"Men, sometimes, need to rest -
hence the TV, remote control, and ignoring their surroundings. (Sometimes we do go overboard on this one)."
4. A Teammate
"To be able to bare ones soul to
one's spouse about life, faith, family without criticism."
"Real men get tired of having to
be the tough guy all the time. We
sometimes need to bust and feel sad or weak. Don't think it makes us wimps."
"Men want to feel intimately safe,
they don't like having their business shared, with ANYONE else."
"I really want to make things as
easy as possible on her. It seems
at times she thinks I'm not on her side.which kills me!
I love her!"
"Men need to know that their
failure will be met with loving arms and encouragement."
"When I say something or help out
around the house, I am in NO WAY trying to demean her and tell her "You're
not capable of handling things yourself.'
'I'm just trying to help!"
5. A structure of gender roles
"To
be appreciated for being the Man of the house and the spiritual leader of the
home."
"Men need a clear definition
between gender roles."
"Men like women who let them open
doors for them or pull out a chair for them or help put their coat on, or stand
when they come in the room."
"Men like woman who act like woman
and not men."
"To not have to beg for intimacy,
but to give one to the other equally without outside influences getting in the
way."
(For those who are not married)
“The thing I wish for most is that my girlfriend will want to hold my
hand or just put it in the crook of my elbow without me asking. It is one of the best feelings of affection I know of.”
"Men wish women understood the
sexual needs of a man and its role in our lives."
7. To be free of stereotypes
"Real men do not show physical or
emotional cruelty, nor do they want a 'trophy wife' to show off to their
friends. However, we can be driven
to kill by someone who tries to harm our loved ones!"
"I
sense a growing frustration and some anger with the role men are being pushed
into by the media bone heads. All
men are not the same, and it's a mistake to presume that we all like or
dislike the same things."
"Contrary to the Homer Simpson, Al
Bundy stereotypes the media force-feeds us. Men are not universally stupid, lazy, and dependent on their women to
bail them out of yet another stupid mess they've gotten themselves into."
"Men do eat quiche. My wife makes a whole grain, cheese, ham and cauliflower
quiche to die for."
8. Unspoken truths
"Men have peace from the love and
affection that they get from their spouse that speaks volumes over words."
"I recognize when I found my wife
I found a good thing."
"Just because we (Men) don't say
it (I love you) doesn't mean we don't feel it.
9. Freedom from criticism
"One thing I wish my wife
understood is that constant criticism does NOT inspire me to greater love. How it frustrates me to sincerely want to make her happy and please her,
but so often (try to do loving things for her), and I'm met with criticism
(you're not doing it right; my way.)"
"If you're breaking down your
man's ego at home, there is another woman out there who is building him up."
“Women,
hear me out here. STOP saying
you’re fat and ugly!!!!! Nothing
hurts your husband more than doing that. Your
husband, at least I speak for myself, thinks you’re HOT!
Quit telling us we’re wrong. Embrace
the
compliments.”
10. Men have a deep desire to follow Christ
"We Christian men want desperately
to be like Jesus Christ, no matter how we may stumble."
"Deep down we want to love them.
Eph. 5:25, 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave Himself for it.'"
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