Article
You Can Help Your Angry Child
Anger has great destructive power,
and it can be both bewildering and frightening to deal with anger in your own
child. If you can discover what’s
at the root of your child’s anger, however, you can begin to deal effectively
with it. God will help you as you
help your child manage anger in healthy ways.
Here are some ways you can
help your child if he or she is struggling with anger:
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Consider whether your child’s
anger might be caused by one of these eight common causes of childhood anger;
physical or sexual abuse, divorced parents, living in a blended family, parental
favoritism, parental abandonment, losses (such as the death of someone close to
the child), parental alcoholism or drug use and being overindulged. In prayer, ask God to reveal to you what’s behind our child’s anger. Also try to talk with your child as openly as possible to try to
determine why he or she is angry.
*
Study
how your child expresses his or her anger, and what satisfaction he or she might
be driving from expressing that anger.
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Help your child evaluate his or her
behaviors and shift from negative to positive mindsets. Encourage your child to think and act positively, and consistently assure
your child of your love for him or her.
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If your behavior is contributing to
your child’s anger, seek help from God and others to change your behavior.
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Help your child understand the costs
associated with explosive anger. Allow
your child to experience the natural, negative consequences of wrong decisions. Motivate your child to make better decisions in the future.
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Reward your child for progress he or
she makes in the journey toward handling emotions in healthy ways.
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Don’t allow your child to
manipulate you with anger. Assume
the authority you should have as a parent, and be willing to lovingly yet firmly
discipline your child when needed.
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Help your child learn how to solve
problems. Teach him or her critical
thinking skills so that he or she is less likely to become frustrated. Encourage creativity when dealing with all situations in life.
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Teach your child to pray frequently,
and especially when under stress. Encourage
him or her to trust God for guidance and strength in any circumstance.
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Remind your child of his or her
unique talents, and encourage him or her to use them whenever possible.
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Assess
your child’s feelings in a variety of situations. Help your child gauge how much anger is justified
and appropriate.
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When your child begins to express
explosive anger, call a time-out to give him or her an opportunity to cool down.
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Minimize the attention you devote to
your child’s angry behavior, because paying too much attention to it can
actually reinforce the behavior. Your
child wants your attention, even if he or she gets that attention in negative
ways. Instead, focus your attention
on your child’s positive actions.
*
Strive to communicate as clearly as
possible to your child, so he or she doesn’t have the frustration of having to
guess what messages you’re sending.
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Forgive your child, and encourage
him or her to seek God’s forgiveness. That
will give him or her the freedom needed to move into a healthier future.
--By Whitney Hopler, Live It ---------
Dr. Richard L. Berry has worked with many youths and their parents to help them
live healthier lives.
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