Article
10 Things Dads Can do to Look Like a Hero To Their Kids
Fathers Know A Secret
Fathers know a deep, dark secret about
their side of parenting. Being a father is confusing and often frightening.
Bill Cosby once wrote, “If God had trouble handling children, what makes you
think it would be a piece of cake for you?” (Cosby was referring to Adam and
Eve and their disobedience in the garden.) To make our task even more challenging,
somewhere along the way our children develop the firm conviction that Dad never
even lived in the real world or his brain is stuck in a malfunction mode! The
real clincher is found in the common belief that all world problems are overstatement,
but notice how dads are most often portrayed on TV – dumb, out to lunch, mean…).
It all adds up to quite a challenge.
Most men want to succeed as fathers.
They think they are taking their role seriously. Though many men wouldn’t admit
it, they are eager for something that will enhance their effectiveness as a
father. Dads can become heroes to their children. It takes a lot of work, patience
and love, but it’s possible. What follows are some suggestions that will help
you fight the misperceptions of fathers in your own family by doing some right
things with your children.
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Be Around
Few things are as important as your presence. Dads often make lots
of excuses. There is work, there is this project or that. There’s
the civic club, the golf game, the tickets to the ball game or the
hunting trip. Twenty years from now your kids won’t care about
any of that and neither will you. You’ll be wondering what happened
to the relationship. Your kids need you. Be there.
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Learn How to Encourage
Parents, by nature, tend toward the negative. “Don’t”
and “can’t” are necessary tools. They help keep
the kids out of the first and help them understand it’s not
good to eat the whole jar of peanut butter at once. But, kids need
to know what they can do. Validate their abilities by telling them
when they do something well. It will give them courage to do even
better.
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Admit Your Faults
If you don’t admit your faults, you’ll be the only one
ignoring them. Admit faults and be man enough to apologize.
It will make you more sensitive about how you handle your children’s
faults. It will also make it easier for your kids to forgive you when
you need it.
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Make Trust A Priority
Trust comes two ways. One is earn it through dependability and consistency.
The only way is a gift. Children need to learn both. Show children
they can trust you. Earn their trust. Teach them they must earn trust
as well. However, there comes a time when you extend trust as a gift.
when you do, you will tap into your child’s increasing maturity.
- Show Tenderness
Too many American fathers grew up with the ”macho-man” idea.
Be strong, be tough, be hard, be busy. That’s fine if you’re
a character in a Clint Eastwood cowboy movie, but it doesn’t do
much for relationships with kids. Children need to see that Dad is touched
by some things, that there are emotions inside, and not just angry ones.
Little boys and girls need hugs and kisses from big Dads. Many grownups
cry because they never heard Dad say, “I love you,” or felt
a loving embrace from strong arms.
- Love Your Wife
The single best source of input regarding marriage is from one’s
parents. Respect your kid’s Mom. Be kind to her. Demand that your
children respect her as well. Your response to your wife develops a
sense of security in your children. Give your kids the security of a
loving marriage.
- Respect Authority
Most fathers want to fill the role of authority. However, if you want
your children to respect authority they must see it in you. Show respect
for your own parents, if they are still living, or speak of them in
ways that show respect if they are no longer around. Your example will
instill the right attitude in your children’s minds.
- Be A Christian
Take the lead in spiritually nurturing your children. Plant spiritual
values in your children’s hearts. Teach them about God, Christ
and His church. Show them it’s important. Talk about 1. death
and eternal matters, but illustrate the importance by your own life.
God will become important to children when God is important to Dad
- Teach The Bible To Your Children
Fathers spend thousands of dollars educating children for a job. They
often spend little educating them for a life. The Bible will help your
kids know how to live. You should be the primary instructor. One simple
way to do this is to get a children’s Bible and read 1 story a
night with your children when they are young. As they grow older, simply
go to more grown up Bible stories until you are actually reading the
Bible with them, or discussing what they have read in Scripture on their
own.
- Be Fun
There are plenty of times for seriousness. Your kids need to know that
you can laugh and have fun. Lighten up! Everything is not earth-shatteringly
important. Laugh at jokes, mistakes and yourself. Let some things happen
with a smile instead of a frown. Your kids will think that you’re
great fun to be with. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?
By Bill Denton
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